Life of A Butler
by Snuffles208
Summary: A short scene from Butler's life. Includes four year old Juliet. Slightly plotless brothersister moment fic.


A random 'scene' like thing from Butler's life.

I'm putting Juliet around four although I don't think that is how Eoin Colfer had it. And I cannot remember what kick it was that Butler was teaching her because my Artemis Fowl books have all gone MIA and I'm too lazy to go through the dump known as my room to find them. Please review!

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"Dom..."

A faint whine pulled him from his dreams. He rolled over and squinted at the dark figure by his feet.

"Dom...Dom..."

He groaned, "Jules, what have I told you about the name thing?"

"Sowy," was the quite reply. The pressure at the foot of his bed disappeared and he heard the faint patter of feet as she headed out of his room.

"Butler..."

"What?" he croaked, sitting up and glancing at the clock, 1:35 AM was illuminated in green.

"Will you teach me how to do that kick? Pwease?"

"Please, Juliet, please, not pwease."

"Pwease please?" He groaned again and flopped back down on the bed. Showing his sister that martial arts movie had been a mistake, she was now on the mission of learning all the moves used in it. Making a mental note never to let her watch any movies that had jumping-off-building scenes he replied, "Yes, but tomorrow."

"It is tomorrow, its past midnight," she said in an annoying voice.

"I know that, later tomorrow, like not now."

"Fine." He closed his eyes and the door creaked shut and silence descended the Butler Lodge again

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The Butler Lodge was really a well-sized campus including a gym, three wrestling rings, a weights room, a track, a rifle range, and a 'cottage' that held five bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen and a weaponry room. Currently only three Butlers lived there, Juliet, his uncle and himself. His uncle was Artemis Fowl's (AN. senior, junior had yet to be born) guard and they were currently on a 'business' trip. Needless to say it was usually rather quiet when Butler woke up and began his morning routine. Today however, a loud crash and a few curses startled him out of his morning stretch; pulling out a handgun he headed into the kitchen from which a few muttering were still echoing.

"Bloody, fweakin-"

"Julietཀ" Butler stopped and stared at his baby sister who was currently throwing handfuls of cereals against the wall. "I'm sowyཀ"

"Sorry! Not sowy," Butler corrected automatically, "But- what are you doing?"

"I went up," she pointed at the chair, "and I reached up," she raised her arm up "and then..." she glanced at him and smiled "everyfing went kaboom." Indeed the cabinet door was hanging off one hinge and all entire breakfast cereal was on the floor.

"Next time, just ask me for help alright?" He sighed and went to get the broom, then paused. "Where did you learn those words?" Juliet smiled at him innocently, "What words?"

"The ones you just used."

"Kaboom? I fink I saw it in a book-"

"Noཀ Not kaboom the other words,"

"What words?"

"Jules," Butler said in a warning tone.

"What?"

"Plus ten push-ups..." he started.

"What?ཀ?"

"Plus twenty..."

"Butler..." she said innocently.

"Plus thirty..."

"Alwightཀ Alwightཀ"

He frowned "It is alright not alwight." She frowned back, "Fine then, alright. I heard them."

"From where?"

"From somewhere."

"Where?" He questioned further fully aware that she was pulling him into her favorite game.

"A person."

"What person?"

"I dunno his name."

"What person, Juliet." He stared at her, she stared right back, then look away. "Alright, him." she pointed at a DVD case that was on top of the kitchen TV.

"100 Common Street Curses and Their Meanings. What were you doing watching this?" he steamed.

"I was bored," she gave a shrug. "Its cool though."

"Okay, listen to me, do not repeat anything you might have learnt from that movie. Nothing" he stressed.

"Nofing. Nope." she grinned.

"Alright, lets clean this up and get you some breakfast."

Once the cereal had been swept up Butler and Juliet sat down to a breakfast of slightly burnt toast. "Dom...I mean Butler?"

"Yes?"

"Will you teach me that kick?"

"Maybe...well I have work to do and-" he caught sight of her suddenly forlorn face. "I was kidding! Yes I promised remember?"

She brightened and jumped up, "Last one out does push-ups!"

"Wh- you little."

Butler raced after his sister, catching up to her he tossed her up onto his shoulder, "I've got you now!" he roared.

"No! Butler! Down!" Together they raced out to the grassy area in front of the cottage, only to almost crash into, "BUTLER!" It seemed that Butler's uncle and Artemis Fowl had gotten back early. "I am gone for a few days and WHAT happens? Running around like hooligans!"

General, as he was known to most, was a formidable man. He had the traditional Butler build of huge and although his hair was slightly grey showing his age, he was one of the most muscular people in the world.

"You, girl!"

Juliet cowered slightly before replying, "Yes sir?"

"Have you worked on those exercises?"

"Yes sir."

"I THINK NOT!" he grabbed her arm and lifted it. "No muscles to speak of. Juliet, Juliet, when will you learn. You are a Butler, not a little girl to run around skipping with the fairies, playing with dolls or drawing. You must learn! Come with me." He shooed her through the doorway. "As for you, you call yourself a Butler, dancing around with you little sister. For shame man!"

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Juliet lay on her bed, staring out at the moon, too sore to move. Her lack of practice had been obvious as her uncle had grilled her on all her techniques and forms. So he had set her to practicing, and now she was super sore, and she would never learn that kick. Another day she might have cried a bit but not now with the General home. Butlers did not cry. A soft rap at her window startled her. Every muscle protesting, she sat up and opened the window to see- "Butler?"

"Come on, you want to learn that kick or not?"

Giving a squeal of delight, any soreness forgotten, she hopped out of bed and out the window to land safely on the soft grass.

"We'll go to the sandbox," he brother whispered, "that way we can make some noise without any worry."

"Okay," she smiled up at him and they set off for the far corner of the Butler Lodge where Juliet had her sandbox.

This proved to be the routine for the next three nights until Juliet could pull off an amazing back hook kick even when blindfolded. She sat down panting from exhaustion.

"Tired?" Butler teased.

"Shut up."

"Juliet!"

"What? Okay it was mean, I'm sorry."

They sat in silence, Juliet picking blades of grass and Butler staring off into the woods.

"Butler?"

"Yes?"

"Why is it that Uncle wants me to learn so much about fighting?" She asked timidly. Butler sighed. "What is you last name, Juliet?"

"Butler...why-"

"You know that all Butlers do what?"

"They spend their life following stuffty old people around!" She giggled.

"Juliet, Mr. Fowl is not old or stuffy, not stuffty. Well maybe he is a bit stuffy but you do not talk about him like that, understood?" She nodded. "Juliet, all Butlers go into the Bodyguard business for the Fowls. General did, I will, you will one day."

"What if I don't want to?"

"I am afraid that isn't a choice Juliet. Or at least General will not let it be a choice," Butler said gently.

"Its not fair!" she exclaimed. "What if I don't want to?" Butler did not respond. "Its not fair," she said again, quieter this time.

"I know," Butler replied, "I know." He picked Juliet and slowly started back to the Lodge.

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So whaddya think? Pretty plotless eh? But oh well. This is a 'snapshot' per say from a moment in Butler's life...random but ta...Review please!

Snuffles208


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